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Friday, April 14, 2006
Killer Bees, Like My Girl the Movie
I have bees on the front porch. My lovely little balcony sanctuary that I spoke so highly of in the last blog has been overrun by giant bees. These things are huge and there are like 5 of them. I have a tendency to run screaming in the opposite direction of bees and so I can't go on the porch till after dark. Because they run off to sleep somewhere, or eat someone, cause these things have to be killers. I'm thinking that if you were stung by all 5 of them, even if you didn't have bee allergies, you'd die anyway. They are that fucking huge. I thought about calling FixIt, the general handy men type thing for UK. But, what do I say, "uhh, yeah...I've got bees"? I know when they'd get here the damn things would go into hiding. FixIt will look at me like I've sprouted 2 crazy lady heads and I'll feel like a fool. My mom calls me, asks if I've been sitting on the porch...you know, with the chair they gave me...and I say "no, I've got bees, killer bees, huge things on my porch." Dad, I swear, in the background says, "Well don't you have some spray to kill them with?" Uhh, where'd I get the spray. I'm too cheap for bug killer. And if I did have some, you think I'd spray those things, just so they could come and attack me?? NO, I'm no fool. I'm sure he'll buy me something this weekend. And I'll bring it back, sit it on the table and the full can will travel home with me when I move out in three weeks. Meanwhile, I'll stick to an open window every now and then in the room, cause at least it has a screen. That and adapting Dracula ways of sitting on the balcony, not till dark...how sad is that?


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