




Liberal, Blogger, Backyard Chicken Farmer, Pop Culture Enthusiast, Former Nerdy Kid Turned Bookish Adult.
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I set out this morning to really put my all into a post. Give you my deep and true feelings on everything going on around me. Vent. Let it out. But, I still can't. I cannot bring myself to talk about any of it. It's too mountainous to think of going through all of the emotions it requires to write about any of this crazy thing they call life. This insane thing they call family.
I pulled into the library parking lot last night while I was out running errands and cried. Granted a car had pulled out in front of me just prior and my tires had skidded and I was angry. But, I really doubt the crying was about that at all. I've been just a shell of a person since all this started occurring with my Dad. He's so angry with life and the hand he's been dealt that he takes it out on those around him. I understand it, I do. I'd probably react the same exact way. But I'm so fucking tired of everything being my fault.
My cousin Sandy came over last night with her son for no reason at all. They hadn't seen us in a while. Sean wanted to see Jon. Last Sunday my cousin Becky came over with her boys. She really hadn't seen us in a while. I'm no big believer in anything. But I do wonder about these incidences. It is so good for my Dad when people show up unannounced because it allows him to focus on something other than excruciating pain for a bit. I was so thankful for the visits.
We are planning a 4th of July party in the coming weekends. Either this one or the next. We must be crazy because this is the worst time to throw a huge get together. But I hope it helps Dad to see some more to see more people who really truly care that he gets better. When he gets down like this he tends to think nobody cares about him at all. It's all depression related, but that's another story.
So my father loves fireworks. He's a firebug. But this year someone else will have to fire up those big illegal monstrosities that he loves so much. He won't be able to light them so I'm not sure how that will go...we've all voted on our about-to-start-Police-Academy cousin/nephew/son-in-law, Patrick to handle it.
Speaking of Police Academy. We watched Frank Denzinger's funeral this weekend. I know I've spoken of my love of state funerals. And they are the best. But, Police/Fire/EMS funerals have to come in second. The last call over the radio gets me every single time.
So sad. One man. One father. One husband. Gone because some fucking emo kid with a gun couldn't stop fighting with his mother. What bullshit.
Life. Family.

quotes of the day
The TV business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs.I was going through my old blog earlier today when I ran across the trip report from my first trip to Florida. It made me remember things I'd forgotten and gave me a good laugh. So for posterity I'm posting it here.
June 8, 2005 So Sanibel Island has been absolutely amazing!!! We love it here and are now planning a return trip...Dad is even having a blast...he caught a 25 pound fish last night. We left T-Ville at 2pm on Friday...arrived in Sanibel @ 11:00am the next morning. It was a trip! lol...Highlights of the drive were: Jon throwing up, Dad and his snowball eating habits, "Bobby you were doing fine till you decided to eat", and The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia: haha Candace! Rest Areas became tourist spots and there are some really nice ones out there! Our first night here was so much fun...the beach has touched me like I never thought it would...lol...it's so beautiful. Since this is the one of the best places to shell in the world (the only better places are somewhere in South Africa and a place in New Guinea), it's been awesome becoming addicted to shelling. Conchs, Junionias, Sea Whelks, Starfish..yada yada yada...they are so neat. Everybody comes out on the beach before the sun rises and at low tide and after storms. Wait till you see what we have found! Sunday we explored the Islands, both Sanibel and Captiva...then we went to Fort Myers to Walmart and seek the sights. We went to the Observation Deck on the island, the Ding Darling National Wildlife Refuge, Baileys Grocery, and Tarpon Bay Explorers. Lot's of fun but it wore us all out. Monday was beach day...all day long...ahh...bad idea. Never been so burned in my life...it's Wednesday night now and I'm still in excruciating pain. Ick! Poor Jon was all burned too...he fell asleep at like 6pm that evening and slept the night away. We ate at Cheeburger Cheeburger which was a pretty good burger joint...Frings Basket with onion rings and fries was delicious! Tuesday we nursed our burns. Chilled at the beach again...more shelling. Got pizza that was tasty...huge deep dish! Dad caught the 25 pound snook that night on the beach...it was huge, but out of season so we couldn't do anything but release it, oh well. Went to Dairy Queen later that night and the hottest guy worked there! Imagine that!! Met a couple who spotted my UK shirt and struck up a converstation, she was from Somerset and they live in Orlando now, but he graduated from UK in '91..haha...us UK people are EVERYWHERE!!!!! Wednesday we've been on the beach all morning, layed around the condo some, and watched a storm from our lanai. Dinner today was from Schnapper's Hots, good hot dogs, brats, and chicken tenders...yum! Dad and me went to Jerrys Supermarket on the island..they have talking birds! Great atmosphere here...we've had to adjust to island time though...everything opens late and closes early, but we've been living like the locals...lol. Tonight was low tide shelling and we got the biggest shell so far..it was such a thrill!!! Got a mosquito bite on the tip of my finger though, how in the world did I do that??? Can't wait for tomorrow! Only a few more days, but it's been a blast..the best is yet to come though!! Major retail therapy is in the works!!! ~From the Island, April
June 15, 2005
MISSING THE ISLAND ![]()
Let's see..where did I leave off? Hmm...Thursday morning we got up and took the drive in The Ding Darling Wildlife Refuge. Saw an alligator up close, fished, saw Roseate Spoonbills, my fave bird cause they're PINK! and got attacked by ants, hey, I don't do wildlife. Later around 4 Mom and me ventured out to plan our shopping for the following morning. Drove up and down Periwinkle Way and stopped in a few places to decide where to buy stuff at and who had the best shirts. We came back to the condo to pick up the boys and then headed out to the Island Cow Restaurant, where I HAD to have a t-shirt!! Had a guy compliment me on my "gettin' lucky in KY" shirt. That was cute! lol...tried their crab cakes and hated them. So then we went to the store to buy margarita mix cause the condo came with a blender, thank God. They were yummy. Friday we spent all day shopping...went to Periwinkle Place Shopping Center, Tahitian Gardens Shopping Center, The T-Shirt Hut, some surf shop, She Sells Sea Shells, The Shell Company, McIntosh Bookstore, Mango Bay....despite the rain it was fun. Got a great shirt that says, "I'm on Island Time" haha! That night we wanted to see the Lighthouse lit up at night so we took a really short drive to see it, pretty neat! Saturday we packed up and left the condo after a few emotional moments on the beach, seriously everyone left me down at the water and had to wait for me to come back to the car, I didn't want to leave the ocean. Then we did a little more shopping at the center at Jerry's. They have talking birds there!! Then finally we left the causeway and stopped at Taco Bell. Hadn't had it all week, people were craving! Then we went to Nature's Harvest (think that's the name) an orange place, kinda like a grocery store, gift shop, food place. Sampled juices, bought stuff, had ice cream cones, Jon had orange, Dad had dreamsicle, and I had chocolate and key lime swirl! Fabulous!!! Then we drove for like 19 hours to get home...wow...it was long.
All in all, had a wonderful first trip to the beach. I love it. I'm officially an ocean freak. But, in general traveling is the best. Already planning next year...somewhere less than 19 hours away...Sanibel would be wonderful again but who knows!!!! I will go back to Sanibel though, weddings on the beach I hear are beautiful!!!!!! lol...
Not on the island,
April