apsies

Scenes From A Weekend

2007-06-25T23:12:00.002-04:00

Help Requested

2007-06-25T23:12:00.001-04:00

So I took a little video of Jon dancing to music from New Orleans (my new obsession by the way) and it's too big to upload on YouTube or Vimeo or Myspace...all of which I've tried. So, how do I cut it down? Details anyone? Links to tutorials? I'm really regretting not capturing it on the old digital camera because I'm pretty sure this clip with the new one is big enough to be burned on a DVD and played on our TV. Which is fine for family and such, but the interwebs needs to see this video too.

yeah

2007-06-25T23:11:00.000-04:00

I set out this morning to really put my all into a post. Give you my deep and true feelings on everything going on around me. Vent. Let it out. But, I still can't. I cannot bring myself to talk about any of it. It's too mountainous to think of going through all of the emotions it requires to write about any of this crazy thing they call life. This insane thing they call family.

I pulled into the library parking lot last night while I was out running errands and cried. Granted a car had pulled out in front of me just prior and my tires had skidded and I was angry. But, I really doubt the crying was about that at all. I've been just a shell of a person since all this started occurring with my Dad. He's so angry with life and the hand he's been dealt that he takes it out on those around him. I understand it, I do. I'd probably react the same exact way. But I'm so fucking tired of everything being my fault.

My cousin Sandy came over last night with her son for no reason at all. They hadn't seen us in a while. Sean wanted to see Jon. Last Sunday my cousin Becky came over with her boys. She really hadn't seen us in a while. I'm no big believer in anything. But I do wonder about these incidences. It is so good for my Dad when people show up unannounced because it allows him to focus on something other than excruciating pain for a bit. I was so thankful for the visits.

We are planning a 4th of July party in the coming weekends. Either this one or the next. We must be crazy because this is the worst time to throw a huge get together. But I hope it helps Dad to see some more to see more people who really truly care that he gets better. When he gets down like this he tends to think nobody cares about him at all. It's all depression related, but that's another story.

So my father loves fireworks. He's a firebug. But this year someone else will have to fire up those big illegal monstrosities that he loves so much. He won't be able to light them so I'm not sure how that will go...we've all voted on our about-to-start-Police-Academy cousin/nephew/son-in-law, Patrick to handle it.

Speaking of Police Academy. We watched Frank Denzinger's funeral this weekend. I know I've spoken of my love of state funerals. And they are the best. But, Police/Fire/EMS funerals have to come in second. The last call over the radio gets me every single time.

So sad. One man. One father. One husband. Gone because some fucking emo kid with a gun couldn't stop fighting with his mother. What bullshit.

Life. Family.

The Bitch

2007-06-22T00:56:00.000-04:00

So within the past year or so I've had two wisdom teeth come in. I've kind of just let them do their thing for a number of reasons. I'm a poor college student, I have a fear of needles, I have a fear of pain, I don't enjoy going to the dentist...did I mention I'm poor?

So I let them come in. I mean really, what harm?

Wisdom Tooth #1 makes it way in sometime early last year. It had more than enough room in the back of my mouth. Nothing shifted. Nothing came in at some godforsaken angle. It hurt for approximately 2 days during which I shoved a bunch of orajel back there and hoped for the best.

It was honestly no big deal.

Wisdom Tooth #2 started breaking around 6 months ago. I feared this one would be trouble.
There was no room in the back of my mouth for it. It made me dream of dollar signs and cobwebs in my bank account. But through some stroke of luck, as it then seemed, the damn thing came in with none of the pain I'd associated with #1. Again I figured...why worry. I'd just get them removed when I had the funds so that all the horrible things they say happen because of wisdom teeth wouldn't eventually occur.

Once again. No big deal.

But guess what? #2 is a bitch. #2 is the wisdom tooth from hell intent upon destroying life as I know it. #2 has decided to develop an infection in the gum surrounding it because it didn't break through completely and it has, as I mentioned, ZERO space in the back of my mouth.
I have spent the past week in misery because of #2-The Bitch. I've not enjoyed food for a week. I can't even eat ice cream because it hurts so bad. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I ENJOY ICE CREAM. Ahh...the travesty of it all.

Dad won't even share his vicodin with me. Something about a broken morphine pump and nerve damage and severe spinal stenosis. Whatever. This is me, rolling my eyes.

And so now, all because I wanted to save a few dollars when I had money in the bank to have it done months ago, I have get my parents to pay for a tooth extraction. Not just extraction. Freaking surgical removal because wisdom teeth are BITCHES.

But first I have to take a week's worth of some of the strongest antibiotics I've ever taken in my life. Because #2-The Bitch has ravaged my mouth into a warzone of bacteria and pain.

I'm so tired. I'd like to enjoy food again. And by God, when they extract The Bitch I'd better get some pain medication in return.

40 Secrets

2007-06-21T22:54:00.000-04:00

40 secrets about yourself.be honest no matter what.

[one] what is your natural hair color?the color it is currently

[two] fort myers beach

[three] what's your middle name?Victoria

[four] your current relationship status?Single

[five] does your crush like you back?George doesn't know me

[six] what is your current mood?decent

[seven] what color underwear are you wearing?pink

[eight] what makes you happy? traveling, music, driving, photography

[nine] what makes you sad? death

[ten] if you could go back in time and change something what would it be?oh i don't know

[eleven] if you must be an animal for one day, what would you be?giraffe

[twelve] ever had a near death experience?nope

[thirteen] something you do a lot?twirl my hair, watch tv, play around with mah computer

[fourteen] the song stuck in your head?isn't she lovely...stevie wonder

[fifteen] who did you copy and paste this from?Steph

[sixteen] name someone with the same birthday as you?our neighbor

[seventeen] when was the last time you cried?today

[eighteen] have you ever sang in front of a large audience?nope[nineteen] if you could have one
super power what would it be?to be invisible

[twenty] what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?hair

[twenty-one] what do you usually order from starbucks?white mocha, toffee nut latte or frap.,
caramel macchiato

[twenty-two] what's your biggest secret?if i told you it wouldn't be a secret

[twenty-three] favorite colors?pink

[twenty-five] do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?Hannah Montana and Naked
Brothers Band with Jon[twenty-six] what are you eating or drinking at the moment?not a thing

[twenty-seven] do you speak any other language?haha...no

[twenty-eight] what's your favorite smell?chanel #5, fresh cut grass, new cars, baby dogs

[twenty-nine] if you could describe your life in one word what would it be?dramatic

[thirty] when was the last time you gave/received a hug?earlier

[thirty-one] have you ever kissed in the rain?No

[thirty-two] what are you thinking about right now?my wisdom teeth

[thirty-three] what should you be doing?painting my toenails

[thirty-four] what was the last thing that made you upset/angry?religious freaks

[thirty-five] how often do you pray?not often

[thirty-six] do you like working in the yard?i hate it, i'm no good at it

[thirty-seven] if you could have any last name in the worldwould what would it be?
Watkins...unless i married into a political dynasty

[thirty-eight] do you act differently around your crush?once again...never met george ; )

[thirty-nine] name one song that reminds you of an ex?none[forty] who was the last person to make you cry?

My Neighbors Refuse to Spay their Cat because they are Crazy Religious People

2007-06-21T13:38:00.000-04:00

Number of cats and dogs entering shelters each year6-8 million (HSUS estimate)

Number of cats and dogs euthanized by shelters each year:3-4 million (HSUS estimate)

Number of cats and dogs adopted from shelters each year:3-4 million (HSUS estimate)

Number of cats and dogs reclaimed by owners from shelters each year:Between 600,000 and 750,000 -- 30% of dogs and 2-5% of cats entering shelters (HSUS estimate)

Number of animal shelters in the United States:Between 4,000 and 6,000 (HSUS estimate)

Percentage of dogs in shelters who are purebred:25% (HSUS estimate)

Average number of litters a fertile cat can produce in one year: 3

Average number of kittens in a feline litter: 4-6

Average number of litters a fertile dog can produce in one year: 2

Average number of puppies in a canine litter: 6-10

AC 360

2007-06-20T22:46:00.000-04:00

Anderson Cooper on now and again at 1 AM. World Refugee Day. Go learn more about Darfur and refugees around the world.

Free Kittens

2007-06-20T16:03:00.001-04:00

Our neighbor's cat had 5 kittens on April 30. They are ready for new homes next week and out of the 5, only 1 currently has a promised home. Three of the four left are black and white in varying patterns and one is a gorgeous long coat Calico. If you are interested or know anyone who is please send me a message.
Please help me find them good homes, I'm afraid they'll end up in a shelter or worse if they don't get homes next week. Again, if you or anyone you know wants a cute kitten let me know.

Taking Care of Dad, that's it

2007-06-20T16:01:00.000-04:00

What have I been doing.

Hmm. Well, planting things in our flowerbeds with my mom.

Taking photos of Jon.

Getting fun free things sent to me from Shutterfly.com because of the promotion that came with my camera.

Talking about traveling.

Wishing I was traveling right now.

Taking my Dad to doctor's appointments and MRIs and such at Frazier Rehab.

Worrying about his impending surgery(ies).

Worrying about what that/those surgery(ies) will end up being for.

Stressing about the fact that most of his back problems are most likely hereditary issues and since Jon got Mom's migraines and I have back issues already, I'm assuming I could end up with degenerative disc disease and spinal stenosis too.

Blowing bubbles, because it's fun and no, I'm not 4.

Planning a 4th of July Party. Like the one's we used to have in the old neighborhood.

Wishing we didn't live next to religious zealots.

Laughing at the celebrity baby boom from yesterday and sad that Tiger and Elin didn't come up with a more interesting name for their little girl than SAM. Ugh.

Reading the report that Isaac Newton claimed the world would not end before 2060: link

Watched the Faith Forum on CNN with the Democratic candidates.

Became really happy with the news of Hillary's lead yesterday.

Dr. Beach released his 2007 Top Ten Beaches list and for the first time a Florida or Hawaii beach didn't make #1, instead it was Okracoke Island in North Carolina.

Researched places to stay in Okracoke Island.

Watched the Daytime Emmy Awards. Delighted that mah stories won. (Guiding Light, Young and the Restless)

Ate at Sub Station II, the best sub place in Louisville in my opinion. It's on Fern Valley Road, you should all go eat there.

And sat down to write this. For very little reason at all.

I felt an update was in order. Consider this it.

Hillary Spoofs The Sopranos

2007-06-20T15:59:00.000-04:00

I'm not crazy about the song, it isn't what I voted for. But, the video to reveal it is funny. Read below and check out here: http://www.hillaryclinton.com/ (Bill is in the video with her!)
Hillary Clinton has gotten creative with a new online campaign video that spoofs the controversial finale of The Sopranos.

In the video, available on Clinton's Web site, the presidential hopeful sits down at a diner and begins to flip through the jukebox as Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" plays – the same song used in the final scene of the HBO hit. Clinton, who is joined at the table by husband Bill, gets a menacing look from Sopranos actor Vincent Curatola, who played mob boss Johnny "Sack" Sacramoni.

While on the Sopranos finale, Tony Soprano (played by James Gandolfini) ordered onion rings, Clinton instead gets a bowl of sliced carrots for the table. "No onion rings?" her husband asks, to which she answers, "I'm looking out for you." Bill asks what tune she's selected as her new campaign song – "My money's on Smashmouth," he says – but just as she's about to reveal it, the screen cuts to black, leaving Clinton's song – just like Tony's fate – a mystery. Unlike The Sopranos, however, with just one more click, Clinton's new campaign theme is revealed to be Celine Dion's "You and I."

Question

2007-04-26T10:42:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else as obsessed with Rosie's live blogs as I am. Because I get really, really happy when one is posted...and really...I'm not normally a happy person. Helene with her glasses and her odd breakfast choices, Janette is kooky and quirky and I love her. OMG. Seriously. Vote for Rosie in the Blogger's Choice Awards. www.bloggerschoiceawards.com

6 More Weird Things

2007-04-26T10:41:00.001-04:00

I've once again been tagged for this one. Since I've done it before it's even more difficult to come up with six weird things about myself. But, I think I managed.

popcorn: I love burnt popcorn. Not scorched, or blackened but an extra 30 seconds in the microwave makes it just charred enough on the inside to be delicious.

daydream: I daydream a lot, but about plots of novels I hope to one day write. I'll sit around (anywhere and anytime) and think of characters, stories, settings...etc.

camping: I'm sure plenty of people share this one with me, but around here I've always gotten funny looks when I admit it. I've never gone camping. Ever. I'm pretty sure I don't want to either.

mississippi: I have a desire to see the Mississippi River and bring home a jar of Mississippi Mud. I have no idea why, but it's been on my mind since I was a little kid.

greece: I feel a strong connection to Greece. Like something major in my future is somehow connected to Greece. I used to think I'd marry a Greek...who knows. I did know this guy once who was of Greek heritage and his name was Nick (go figure), but he was Republican so it never would have worked out. At any rate, I really hope to visit there someday and figure it all out.
tonsils: I have abnormally large ones. Everytime I've ever had a doctor look at them for the first time they are ALWAYS shocked. I probably shouldn't be able to swallow, but somehow I can. And no, nobody has ever suggested removing them and I've only had strep throat once. It has, however, cost me tons of unnecessary strep tests.

Tagging anyone who is willing to tell us six more weird things about themselves.

Three Weeks and Four Days

2007-04-24T12:10:00.000-04:00

I know that by now everyone must be sick of me talking about my vacations. I realize this. But when you lead the boring life that I do you tend to latch onto any excitement that you can.
But, you see...I love to travel. LOVE. And before a few years ago all of my traveling involved someone dying, or going to visit the graves of people who were dead. With all of Dad's various medical ailments, Mom going back to school and such, and my parents having a baby during the midst of all that we never had the resources to take vacations. Unless....someone kicked the bucket. Sad? Yes. But so true.

Before our first family vacation three years ago, my brother thought hospitals were fun places to be. And why not think that? Cable television (which we never used to have), beds that move, cafeterias and gift shops. Baptist East has a park behind it, Audubon is close to the Zoo, Jewish has great views.

And so you can see how thrilling it is for us to go on these trips. So if you'll excuse me for getting giddy about this trip that's in three weeks I'd appreciate it.

In the meantime I'm making a list of things I want pictures of. Does anyone else do that?
It never fails that any trip I go on (even the ones involving death) I also seem to forget pictures I wanted to save for posterity. I always seem to come home and get disappointed that I didn't take enough, or forgot to take a picture of something important. For example, last year I didn't get a picture of the roach motel we stayed at for approximately 2.5 hours. I was so angry and worried at that time that I didn't care to have a picture of it. Now, I tell the story of that trip and in between all the laughing (trust me, it's a good story) people ask if I have a picture. AND I DON'T. Obviously, it pisses me off.

So this year. A list. Cause I'm OCD like that. Give me ideas if you'd like. I'll be sure to post it as soon as I have it compiled, because I just know you're all sitting with bated breath waiting to see it.

And to back up my claim that all our travels involved death, here we are two years ago at my grandparents grave in Pineville, Kentucky. Please ignore the crappiness of the picture because A) I didn't have mah camera then and B) It doesn't really matter to prove my point.
We had a picnic at the cemetery. Pine Lawn is the name if you're interested. I don't think reservations are required. Cumberland Falls isn't too far away so we caught the moonbow later that night. It's a trip to consider.

quotes of the day

2007-04-09T22:06:00.000-04:00

quotes of the day

The TV business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs.
--Hunter S. Thompson

"In your life you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again; but you do." - The Wonder Years.

My First Trip to the Beach

2007-04-09T22:01:00.000-04:00

I was going through my old blog earlier today when I ran across the trip report from my first trip to Florida. It made me remember things I'd forgotten and gave me a good laugh. So for posterity I'm posting it here.

June 8, 2005

So Sanibel Island has been absolutely amazing!!! We love it here and are now planning a return trip...Dad is even having a blast...he caught a 25 pound fish last night. We left T-Ville at 2pm on Friday...arrived in Sanibel @ 11:00am the next morning. It was a trip! lol...Highlights of the drive were: Jon throwing up, Dad and his snowball eating habits, "Bobby you were doing fine till you decided to eat", and The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia: haha Candace! Rest Areas became tourist spots and there are some really nice ones out there! Our first night here was so much fun...the beach has touched me like I never thought it would...lol...it's so beautiful. Since this is the one of the best places to shell in the world (the only better places are somewhere in South Africa and a place in New Guinea), it's been awesome becoming addicted to shelling. Conchs, Junionias, Sea Whelks, Starfish..yada yada yada...they are so neat. Everybody comes out on the beach before the sun rises and at low tide and after storms. Wait till you see what we have found!

Sunday we explored the Islands, both Sanibel and Captiva...then we went to Fort Myers to Walmart and seek the sights. We went to the Observation Deck on the island, the Ding Darling National Wildlife Refuge, Baileys Grocery, and Tarpon Bay Explorers. Lot's of fun but it wore us all out.

Monday was beach day...all day long...ahh...bad idea. Never been so burned in my life...it's Wednesday night now and I'm still in excruciating pain. Ick! Poor Jon was all burned too...he fell asleep at like 6pm that evening and slept the night away. We ate at Cheeburger Cheeburger which was a pretty good burger joint...Frings Basket with onion rings and fries was delicious!

Tuesday we nursed our burns. Chilled at the beach again...more shelling. Got pizza that was tasty...huge deep dish! Dad caught the 25 pound snook that night on the beach...it was huge, but out of season so we couldn't do anything but release it, oh well. Went to Dairy Queen later that night and the hottest guy worked there! Imagine that!! Met a couple who spotted my UK shirt and struck up a converstation, she was from Somerset and they live in Orlando now, but he graduated from UK in '91..haha...us UK people are EVERYWHERE!!!!!

Wednesday we've been on the beach all morning, layed around the condo some, and watched a storm from our lanai. Dinner today was from Schnapper's Hots, good hot dogs, brats, and chicken tenders...yum! Dad and me went to Jerrys Supermarket on the island..they have talking birds! Great atmosphere here...we've had to adjust to island time though...everything opens late and closes early, but we've been living like the locals...lol. Tonight was low tide shelling and we got the biggest shell so far..it was such a thrill!!! Got a mosquito bite on the tip of my finger though, how in the world did I do that??? Can't wait for tomorrow! Only a few more days, but it's been a blast..the best is yet to come though!! Major retail therapy is in the works!!!

~From the Island,

April

June 15, 2005

MISSING THE ISLAND

Let's see..where did I leave off? Hmm...Thursday morning we got up and took the drive in The Ding Darling Wildlife Refuge. Saw an alligator up close, fished, saw Roseate Spoonbills, my fave bird cause they're PINK! and got attacked by ants, hey, I don't do wildlife. Later around 4 Mom and me ventured out to plan our shopping for the following morning. Drove up and down Periwinkle Way and stopped in a few places to decide where to buy stuff at and who had the best shirts. We came back to the condo to pick up the boys and then headed out to the Island Cow Restaurant, where I HAD to have a t-shirt!! Had a guy compliment me on my "gettin' lucky in KY" shirt. That was cute! lol...tried their crab cakes and hated them. So then we went to the store to buy margarita mix cause the condo came with a blender, thank God. They were yummy. Friday we spent all day shopping...went to Periwinkle Place Shopping Center, Tahitian Gardens Shopping Center, The T-Shirt Hut, some surf shop, She Sells Sea Shells, The Shell Company, McIntosh Bookstore, Mango Bay....despite the rain it was fun. Got a great shirt that says, "I'm on Island Time" haha! That night we wanted to see the Lighthouse lit up at night so we took a really short drive to see it, pretty neat! Saturday we packed up and left the condo after a few emotional moments on the beach, seriously everyone left me down at the water and had to wait for me to come back to the car, I didn't want to leave the ocean. Then we did a little more shopping at the center at Jerry's. They have talking birds there!! Then finally we left the causeway and stopped at Taco Bell. Hadn't had it all week, people were craving! Then we went to Nature's Harvest (think that's the name) an orange place, kinda like a grocery store, gift shop, food place. Sampled juices, bought stuff, had ice cream cones, Jon had orange, Dad had dreamsicle, and I had chocolate and key lime swirl! Fabulous!!! Then we drove for like 19 hours to get home...wow...it was long.

All in all, had a wonderful first trip to the beach. I love it. I'm officially an ocean freak. But, in general traveling is the best. Already planning next year...somewhere less than 19 hours away...Sanibel would be wonderful again but who knows!!!! I will go back to Sanibel though, weddings on the beach I hear are beautiful!!!!!! lol...

Not on the island,

April

In retrospect. We did return the following year, although by accident. And the orange place wasn't Nature's Harvest, it was Sun Harvest. And yes, we went again and I enjoyed another Key Lime/Chocolate swirled ice cream cone. I swear they are delicious, even if my brother tries to say otherwise.

Making the Most of a Heatwave

2006-08-02T12:47:00.000-04:00

I made the best chicken and dumplings last night. They were simply amazing. I think it is clear that I have inherited my grandfather's nack for dumplings. Something my mother just cannot do. I was so happy with myself. This was about my third time in on the dumpling train. My first with homemade dumplings (not a can of biscuits). Out of the park. Our neighbors, in awe of my cooking expertise this summer, have been asking why I'm not becoming a chef. Haha. If only I had that particular desire!

In other news, we are in day three of heat advisory. The heatwave finally hit my area and it doesn't appear to be leaving anytime soon. I've been trying to stick to the air conditioning. But, man it even gets warm in here sometimes. Especially with my huge bedroom window. Stifling is the only word I think can do this heat some justice. Eeek.

I have been taking this as an opportunity to enjoy some reading. In the past four days or so I've managed three novels. They were so good. Fun and flirty summer romance reads. I'm trying to enjoy this before fall hits and I'm stuck with the English Lit choices for my classes!

The Truth

2006-08-01T00:35:00.000-04:00

Here is the deal. I'm suffering from extreme writer's block. Heck, it's life block. I'm clinging to the end of summer like a leaf grasping onto a branch and attempting to avoid the inevitable. It sucks. I have nothing to write about because I don't feel like thinking too much. And so for now, my posts are going to come from MEMES. Just for a bit though. Hopefully they will inspire something else. Something interesting for me to blog about. Because I want to be here. I want to do this. Dangit...I am a writer. I just need to find that magic again.

It's a Heat Wave

2006-07-31T18:41:00.000-04:00

I got my loan stuff in the mail today. I hate going through all of that every August. Sure this is only my third August with it all. But, really. I need it to stop. I used to think I'd spend the rest of my life in school. I don't anymore.

I have no money.

I miss money.

I will work this Fall. So I can buy fun things once more. Like Coach purses. Ahhh, Coach. There is a certain bag that I'm sure was made just for me.

It's hot. Like heat advisory hot. So excuse me while I go take an ice bath or something.

Back From The Beach

2006-07-29T20:50:00.000-04:00

We're back. And it's good to be home. I'd say it's taken a good week to get back into the swing of things. It's exhausting to drive 17 hours to Sanibel/Fort Myers twice in one week. Two years in a row of doing just that has me beat. Sheesh.

I love the beach I do. I adore it. The sand was fantastic as always. But, I think we need to stay a little closer to home in the coming year. Between 5 and 10 hours sounds like a breeze!

I've already been searching. We'd love to visit Savannah, Georgia and the islands down there. Charleston, South Carolina as well as Asheville, North Carolina and the Biltmore Estate. And I'm in dire need of making the pilgrammage to Graceland in Memphis, TN. Hopefully the upcoming travel season will hold some surprises for us.

I'm going to post once per day from here on out. And if I don't, call me out on it. My writing need's to be exercised more. I'm getting lazy with this blog. And it's not my wish to do so. On that note, I'm out.

Censorship

2006-07-13T00:07:00.000-04:00

I have found myself censoring myself a lot lately. We live next to a family that is very religious. They practice modesty, in that their girls do not ever wear pants...only skirts. They don't cut their hair, ever. They can't wear jewelry. No television. The 15 year old can't even see PG-13 movies. I swear they are like an experiment of what happens when people are not exposed to mass media. The mother had no clue that people go shopping in mass numbers on the day after Thanksgiving. The eldest daughter had no idea, until last week what a 'hooker' was.

They know absolutely nothing. The girls have no idea about how the world works. They think the Jefferson Mall is the best mall in Louisville. They look at me in awe when I know things about current events or geography or history. They wondered how in the world people would know for sure that a line for the first McDonald's in Kuwait that opened in 1998 stretched over 7 miles out of the drive thru. They thought WAVE-3 anchorwoman, Jackie Hays, was on The Weather Channel.

The problem is this: I have been taking them places with my brother this summer. And I have found myself censoring what comes out of my mouth at all times. If they walk into our house I turn off the TV. If they are in my car I won't listen to music. And normal questions I would ask anyone about their religion or life views I find myself clamming up over when I talk to these girls.

But, why? Madre says it's wrong. That I shouldn't feel that way about anything I say in front of these girls. But, it often seems like I'm trying to protect them too. When all they need is a hefty dose of reality. I'm really not sure what I should do. Do I continue to treat them with kid gloves just because their parent's chose to be in a denomination that causes them to live very differently than me? It's tough.

Before I'm Gone

2006-07-11T01:08:00.000-04:00

I would like to:

*Have a career in Journalism
*Spend longer than a week in London and Greece
*Fall in love at least once
*Adopt a child
*Save as many animals as I can
*Live in a big city
*Take a walk on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
*Swim in a crystal clear ocean
*Do something good in Africa
*Own a house that has an upstairs
*Eat bratwurst in Germany
*Drive a nice car
*Work on a documentary
*Wear a bikini
*Feel completely comfortable in this skin of mine
*Find someone who takes my breathe away
*Influence someone
*Get a tattoo
*Be loved, in such a way that it too takes his breathe away
*Raise my children in a house full of tolerance
*Have an Australian Shepherd dog
*Find a crafty thing that I'm good at
*Meet a celebrity
*Ride a Gondola in Venice
*Kiss someone by the river Seine
*Read a book by Faulkner
*See the Dixie Chicks in concert
*Find out my family's geneology
*Spend significant time in New York City, which of course includes eating a slice of pizza there, visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Empire State Building and Ground Zero.
*Visit D.C. and see the eternal flame at JFK's grave
*Give blood
*Visit a southeast Asian country
*Watch a Jazz Funeral procession in New Orleans
*Wear stilettos with confidence
*Own a diamond that I bought for myself
*Laugh...a lot
*Learn to live in the moment

and obviously this list could go on, but perhaps I'll revisit it from time to time and add more.

21 Things

2006-07-11T00:12:00.000-04:00

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says: "He stood up with a sudden restlessness, stretching himself with one sharp movement." --Tender is the Night, F.Scott Fitzgerald

2.Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? my iPod.

3.What is the last thing you watched on TV? Sex and the City

4.WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is: 12:30

5.Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 12:44

6.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The television, Frasier is on but I hate that show...

7.When did you last step outside? what were you doing? We were outside playing Badmitton with all of the neighbors.

8.Before you came to this website, what did you look at? I don't remember, probably a recipe for kitten formula.

9.What are you wearing? pajama capris and a CATS t-shirt.

10.Did you dream last night? I'm sure I did, but I don't remember any of them.

11.When did you last laugh? outside on the patio with the girls.

12.What is on the walls of the room you are in? white, but not for long!

13.Seen anything weird lately? a flat chested kitten.

14.What do you think of this quiz? ehh.

15.What is the last film you saw? Madea's Family Reunion.

16.If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? a few more years of a college education.

17.Tell me something about you that I don't know: I got my hair cut yesterday. It's the shortest I've ever had it!

18.If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? no more child poverty.

19.Do you like to dance? not at all.

20.Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? a boy? Kennedy for my girl, Gabriel for my boy.

21.Would you ever consider living abroad? absolutely, I think London would be a blast for a while!

Sorry For The Absence, But Dudes! FLORIDA!!

2006-07-08T01:29:00.000-04:00

T-Minus one week and counting!!!!! Eeek! This time next week I shall be in a car somewhere in Georgia on my way to the sunshine state. Only my second time to the beach ever...but it feels like I'm making a trek to my spiritual home. There is something that pulls my soul to this place. The beach, the ocean. I'm high on life. Rarely do I use that term but it feels so appropriate right now.

That doesn't mean I'm not sort of freaking out. My mom gave me a list about a mile long earlier to type out. Things we can't forget, things to look into, and directions to track down. There is so much delicate, if not harried, planning that goes into our trips. This year we've planned to go since forever...but we just just secured a place to stay last week. Mom had talked to numerous people who said they book right before they leave to get the best deals. I'll admit...we did get a heck of a deal. But, boy I was sweating bullets till we did it.

Honestly though, the best part is how we are getting there. My parents, in an effort to save money on gas decided that we could drive my car for 14+ hours to the Tampa-St.Pete area of Florida. My car, for those who don't know, is a subcompact Chevrolet Aveo. Let me repeat: it's a tiny car. On the outside. The inside isn't cramped or anything. The trunk is huge. But, I can't help but assume people will gawk at us like clowns climbing out of car at the circus. And yet THE GAS, THE GAS. The moolah we will save. At any rate I've ordered a "mock drill" tomorrow. I want to see what we can fit in this car. Mom says I only want to find out how many pairs of flip flops I can bring. She might be sort of right. ;)

Alphabet

2006-05-14T23:22:00.000-04:00

ACCENT: I'm from Kentucky. However, the Louisville area works really hard on not having too much of an accent, so therefore I have that flat midwestern accent heard on the News everywhere. As a journalism major...this is a good thing.
BIBLE BOOK: I like John
CHORE I DON'T CARE FOR: dishes
DOG OR CAT: I really can't pick one, I love them equally.
ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: iPod, TV, DVD player, laptop
FAVORITE PERFUME: Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker
GOLD OR SILVER: silver, I don't like gold
HANDBAG THAT I CARRY MOST OFTEN: lately it's my Sak bag
INSOMNIA: sometimes
JOB TITLE: student
KIDS: I want some in the very far away future
LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: moved back home for the summer just last week, it's good to be back with mom and dad
MOST ADMIRABLE TRAIT: i'm a leader
NAUGHTIEST CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOR: cutting my poodle's hair
OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY: never for myself since birth but: a few nights with my Grandpa when he was dying, bunches of nights with Dad for any number of his heart attacks, and one night the whole family stayed on a "death watch" for my Uncle who was coming off of a lot of drugs and alcohol and his system was shutting down. He survived, but has since relapsed.
PHOBIAS: having the palm of my hand touched.
QUOTE: "It's not in my nature to be mysterious, but I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why." Rusty Ryan from Ocean's 12
RELIGION: Christian
SIBLINGS: one 11 year old brother
TIME I WAKE UP: 7ish
UNUSUAL TALENT OR SKILL: burp on command
VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: peppers
WORST HABITS: popping my toes
X-RAYS: chest x-ray once, but my mom takes x-ray as part of her job!
YUMMY STUFF I COOK: my special chicken and rice
ZOO ANIMAL: Giraffes!! We fed them and got to pet them at the Zoo on Tuesday!

Remembrance

2006-05-14T00:14:00.000-04:00

Cancer, Baby has lost her battle with ovarian cancer: http://cancerbaby.typepad.com/cancerbaby/

Further proof that cancer holds no prisoners. It doesn't care about your age, or your attitude, or just how much living you have left to do. And that just plan sucks.

Today is Mother's Day, and combined with this sad news about Cancer, Baby I can't help but be reminded of Grandma. May 1st, just two years ago, she lost her own battle with cancer. At 69, very close to 70, years of age. She had a pretty long life, not as long as it could have been but certainly longer than 33 years. She got to be a mother to four children, grandmother to 5, great-grandmother to 4. A good life by any estimation. But, this doesn't change the fact that my mother is going to be missing her own mom terribly tomorrow. That's tough. I miss my Grandma. I miss the way she smelled and the way she felt, and her back rubs were the best. I just miss her voice. If I miss her this much, how much more could my mom be missing her?

I think the answer is, a lot.

It's Two Bare Feet On The Dashboard

2006-05-12T21:23:00.000-04:00

So, it's summertime. The end of school was fine. It ended and that is the important part. My grades were fine but definately not my best semester at UK. I don't know how I did that this year, have the best semester and my worst back to back. Eww. I just hate it. I'm currently looking for a job. Not too much fun. But, let's face it...I could use some cash. I'm leaning towards not taking a class this summer. It's just almost too much. And I don't really have the money to pay for it. My parents, with my mother like *this close* to quitting her job don't have it either. Well, as long as we continue with the plan to hit up Florida next month. I'm liking the idea of not taking it. My mom has yet to be informed but I'm waiting for the perfect moment to spring it on her. We'll see how it goes.

I've been playing with my blog design. I want something cuter, but I really have no idea how to do it on my own. I like this template though. I wanted something a bit darker and bigger print because it's easier on my eyes. I'm just glad I managed to get my flickr badge and my blogroll on here. Major accomplishment.

I have decided that I want to be a writer though. I used to be more set on it. Won a lot of awards for writing in elementary school and did some good stuff in middle school. Then I sort of gave it up in high school. I want to get back into that world. I'm throwing around novel ideas. Perhaps I'll start something this summer. I am also leaning more towards print journalism than broadcast. This is huge!! Something I'm sure many people have seen coming for a very long time. But, please don't tell me you did and act surprised anyway. I really want to be a travel writer. Have a newspaper publication pay me to travel and write about it. That would be so awesome! I think this is an interesting corner to be turning but I'm excited at the prospect of it all!

I wish I could get more creative with this title, but I can't right now

2006-05-03T17:19:00.000-04:00

Here I am again. Avoiding studying. I know I keep saying that. And I also am aware that many of you will think I'm exaggerating. But, unfortch...I'm not. I basically have to teach myself three weeks of logic because I didn't go to class very much. Now, before you point your finger. This professor of mine doesn't teach. He goes over the homework, which isn't even required, and we just have to watch a CD Rom for every section of our book. Therefore I decided to lump all the CD Rom watching and practice until the day before the exam. I only want a C in this class and I can get a 50% on this exam and still get that with some room to grow. I keep alternating between fear and apathy when it comes to this test.
In all honesty. I just want to be home. I'm tired. It's been a very long semester. I wasn't ready for Christmas Break to end and I've carried that feeling through an entire semester. I never got into my classes the way I usually do. It sucked in a nutshell. Now, all that stands between me and a summer vacation is three exams. I HATE FINALS.
I also hate that it appears my roomie's boyfriend is living with us this week. I could go on about why I hate it but I think it is best said in this sentence: I hate my roommate. End of story. Thank God, after Thursday I will never see her again. Isn't that strange? I lived with someone since February and yet we have zero bond. I could count on my fingers the number of conversations we've had. Having a bad roommate is a major source of my problems this semester. It makes being here uncomfortable.
I am looking for a job. The one thing I'm not looking foward to doing this summer. There are two things in this life that I don't do: math and menial jobs. I get to do both this summer. Math @ JCC. Some random job somewhere. If you have any ideas, that don't involve fast food, send them my way. Office work is nice. I can answer phones like a pro. One of the doctors in mom's office offered me a job a couple weeks ago but Mom hates the idea of me working there. Kind of sucks because it would be easy, the pay would be good, and I'd get to dress up everyday. But, perhaps another office around there would want me.
Then there is Florida. Treasure Island in June. It's in the whole Tampa/St. Petersburg region of Florida. I think it will be fun.

I Am From

2006-04-24T20:00:00.000-04:00

I am from country roads that lead to city streets , from Lysol sprays in the kitchen and antibacterial soaps on the sinks.

I am from the hills of the bluegrass in the heart of the country. Where muggy summer nights are spent capturing lightning bugs and stealing extra youth and cold winter‘s evenings are spent curled up by fireplaces.

I am from the goldenrods and the coal and the laurels that rest on the mountains overlooking the seven states, the Pennyrile and land that stretches as far as the mighty Mississippi.

I am from gardeners and green thumbs and doers and procrastinators, from leaders and dreamers. I am from hard workers and dads that stayed home with the children. I am from Bobby and Vickie, Bob and Gladys, Junior and Irma. I am from the Coal Miner’s Daughters and the Country Outlaws.

I am from the all for one mentality and the never lose sight of where you came from kind.
From keeping your friends close and you enemies even closer.

I am from the Baptist and the Pentecostals. From the homespun religion. From the bible and speaking in tongues. Do unto others. Work hard. From the gospel music at funeral wakes. I am from the “how great thou arts” and the “peace in the valleys“.

I'm from the western coal fields and the mountains of Appalachia and the Burroughs of New York City. I’m from the soul of the state but I’m a citizen of the world. From the Irish and the German.

I am from rows and rows of tomatoes served juicy with course salt. From cornbread and buttermilk and chili even in the summertime. I am from the real Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I am from the grandmothers who patted your back and stroked your hair. And the grandmothers who told you stories about their childhood. The papaw who always asked for you to come squeeze paw paw‘s neck before you left and the memories of another time. So long ago, when The Judd‘s said “love could build a bridge” and family members didn‘t disappear.

I am from 35mm and Polaroid’s. I’m from boxes of photos with yellowing edges and newspaper clippings. Old magazines and Elvis Shirts still wrapped in plastic. I am from computers with files and files of family pictures. I am from memories not captured on film.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!

2006-04-17T09:25:00.000-04:00

Ahh Easter. The day all the people who don't attend church the rest of the year show up for the early morning services. I'm surprised we didn't see large numbers of churches go up in flames yesterday from all the blasphemy. You know what, in my house we don't go to church the other 364 days out of the year so we sure as hell ain't going on Easter.

We did celebrate by getting big fat Easter baskets full of candy and presents. And the evening before we watched Charleton Heston play Moses, like all good Christians should. Okay maybe not. But, I've said it before and I'll say it again...my parent's utilize the television in their parenting technique. Want to know about the bible?? Watch a movie about it. I finally realized that The Ten Commandments movie really doesn't have much to do with Easter. I asked my Mom why they show it. She said it was the only good bible movie back then and it's stuck. Ahh, the insight.

I actually read the bible too. My mom screamed at me for backtalking her and I quote, "telling her what to do all the time" so my Dad broke us up and made me read Chapter 20 of some book to Jonathan. It's the part where Jesus is resurrected. You know, I could probably enjoy the bible if it was in easier language. But, Dad refuses to own anything but the King James Version. So...whatever.

I wonder sometimes about my faith though. I believe. But, yet I feel like I don't have religion. You can't find a church that doesn't judge or gossip or isn't full of hypocrites anymore. I don't need a church that tells me to vote for GWB. And I have a hard time finding a place where I actually feel something. I have to be moved to enjoy it. We are talking goosebumps and hairs standing up on the back of my neck...moved. Actually, I know where I'd fit in and enjoy going to church at...I've always wanted to go to a black church. I know I'd like it there.

Killer Bees, Like My Girl the Movie

2006-04-14T10:45:00.000-04:00

I have bees on the front porch. My lovely little balcony sanctuary that I spoke so highly of in the last blog has been overrun by giant bees. These things are huge and there are like 5 of them. I have a tendency to run screaming in the opposite direction of bees and so I can't go on the porch till after dark. Because they run off to sleep somewhere, or eat someone, cause these things have to be killers. I'm thinking that if you were stung by all 5 of them, even if you didn't have bee allergies, you'd die anyway. They are that fucking huge. I thought about calling FixIt, the general handy men type thing for UK. But, what do I say, "uhh, yeah...I've got bees"? I know when they'd get here the damn things would go into hiding. FixIt will look at me like I've sprouted 2 crazy lady heads and I'll feel like a fool. My mom calls me, asks if I've been sitting on the porch...you know, with the chair they gave me...and I say "no, I've got bees, killer bees, huge things on my porch." Dad, I swear, in the background says, "Well don't you have some spray to kill them with?" Uhh, where'd I get the spray. I'm too cheap for bug killer. And if I did have some, you think I'd spray those things, just so they could come and attack me?? NO, I'm no fool. I'm sure he'll buy me something this weekend. And I'll bring it back, sit it on the table and the full can will travel home with me when I move out in three weeks. Meanwhile, I'll stick to an open window every now and then in the room, cause at least it has a screen. That and adapting Dracula ways of sitting on the balcony, not till dark...how sad is that?

Commonwealth Stadium

2006-04-13T10:22:00.000-04:00

I totally noticed just this morning that I forgot to say how good Little Children was. It was very eerie and kind of creeped me out in some odd way. But, I liked it. It's an extremely quick read, kind of suspenseful in that you keep turning the pages until you are at the end but not at all scary. It's that real life, suburbia creepiness. Basically unsettling my hidden fear that I'll end up home with 12 kids in the burbs. I suggest you pick it up, meanwhile I'm going to search for his other books, Election and Joe College.

Brad Pitt got a haircut, as proven by the latest US Weekly, which makes me happy to no end. Ocean's 13 starts filming this summer, Matt, George and Brad...it doesn't get better than that.

I just realized this new blog hasn't been graced with the beautiful Jolie-Pitts. And while nobody but me cares, it's my damn blog. My dad gave me a chair to bring to the apartment with me. It's one of those blue, foldy ones that you get at sporting goods stores. I put it on my porch last night and sat out watching the cars pass on Alumni Drive with Commonwealth Stadium and Nutter Field House in the background. It was so gorgeous. In the two years I've lived here, I've forgotten at many times how much I used to enjoy just coming to Lexington for a day. Last night made me remember why I'm here and how much I need to sit back and enjoy the ride. Before I know it I'll be working somewhere and grown up life will begin. I think it's so hard to just live for the moment though. I'm always thinking three weeks ahead, or a year, or 20 years. But, last night...laughing with Candace on the phone, feeling the breeze that is bringing summer into Kentucky, and basking in the glow of the spotlights on the football field I realized I need to enjoy more moments like that.

Woe is Me

2006-04-11T09:13:00.000-04:00

So, Daytona still appears to be on. I'm having a little trouble deciding on a place to stay. I like for the price to be right, but I don't want to stay in a roach motel either. I know at some point I claimed to not care where we stayed as long as I was at the freakin' beach. But, let's not kid ourselves, I'm picky and I don't like trashiness. So...I'm checking and double checking places. I'll find one that looks good on their website and then I'll search it on www.tripadvisor.com and find out it's a dump, or it's closing after summer, or the hurricane virtually destroyed it. Some are amazing, but then they don't accept the dog. Cause that's right, the damn dog is coming with us. Not the big one, but the chihuahua. My brain hurts just thinking of the prospect of looking it all up. I'm just not sure anymore.

The Beach, The Beach

2006-04-10T09:07:00.000-04:00

I had the most relaxing weekend I've had in a long time. Saturday we went grocery shopping and then came home and watched Bewitched on DVD and ate snacks all day. Sunday I went no where at all. It's so nice sometimes to just sit around the house. We planned our vacation...finally. We sat down with the computer and searched and decided. In the last two months the vacation spots have gone from St. Augustine, Tampa, St.Pete Beach, Clearwater, Pensacola, Panama City Beach, and Gulf Shores. In a twist of fate, and to everyone's surprise we decided on a place that has never even been on the radar. We are going to Daytona Beach, Florida. I'm so excited. We leave in roughly 6 weeks. More to come later. For some reason, I'm inclined to study this morning.

The Merits of TV

2006-04-06T21:11:00.000-04:00

So I'm reading a book, not of course the one I should be reading for history. Instead, one that I've had since Christmas and not read. It's this:
It's one of those eerie books about life in Suburbia after having such wonderful and crazy life plans in college. The idea generally freaks me out. But, so far this book is amazing. One page goes into detail what this stay at home mom does all day and I'm trying to remember if me and my mom did that much in a day. She quit staying home with me when I was seven. But, most of the memories I could drudge up were eating salads or chicken noodle soup while watching PBS, Little House on the Prairie or The Young and the Restless. I can recall playing in closets and cabinets in little nests that she made for me, playing with dolls occasionally and cutting my dog's hair. We most definately didn't fingerpaint, get up at 6am, nap twice a day, watch TV for only a half hour or go for brisk walks. At least, I don't think we did. I'm so going to call and confirm this. Maybe even impose a little mommy guilt on her.

I have realized my parents utilized the TV as much as possible in their parenting skills. We watched tons of movies, lots of PBS, and the news. And, they raised two really good kids. Neither of us has ever, ever gotten into trouble. Then again, both of us never had cable so occasionally we had to watch educational public TV...you know...when a Roseanne marathon wasn't on and it wasn't yet time for The Guiding Light.

Here's A Story of a Lovely Lady

2006-04-05T20:41:00.000-04:00

Here is the deal. I had this blog last year. Started roughly around the time I ended my Xanga. Quit around Christmas. I hated the way blogger looked and I didn't take the time to figure out how to fix it and make it pretty. But, with me refusing to pay money per month for cute blogs...I'm back. With a vengence one might say. The template may still change, the links don't work yet and there isn't a whole lot to read. All in due time though. Good things come to those who wait. Remember that one. Say I told you so. More to come soon. Leave me one and let me know you were here!

One Sentence

2006-04-05T12:14:00.000-04:00

Got the idea from AfrIndie Mum. Here’s the deal: Write one sentence for every year of your life so far. Here’s mine:

1. I was born at Humana Southwest to my parents who were 24 and 28, moved to their rented house in Fairdale down the road from my mom’s parents.
2. Moved to Mount Washington on my 2nd birthday to a brand new, never, ever lived in starter house.
3. Spent my days watching PBS with my stay at home Madre.
4. Got my first dog, a toy poodle named Christina, I was obsessed with any Chris type names that year.
5. Started Kindergarten at Old Mill Elementary with Ms. Hammond as my teacher.
6. Wrote a little story that won the Young Authors Award, it was about a trip to Pineville, Ky. when my Great-Grandmother died.(imagine that, me win with a story about death)
7. Got my first cavity and filling that year, still can’t stand the dentist, and out goes my dream of perfect teeth and my mother went back to work.
8. Got a brand spanking new baby brother named Jonathan and finally knew I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life as an only child and it provided a story for my next Young Authors Award win.
9. My dad became disabled, mom worked more and me and Jon spent our nights at Mount Washington Elementary watching Mom clean.
10. I won Young Authors again, this time for a collection of poetry.
11. I lost my Grandpa that year to a mass of various illnesses, he spent 84 nights in the hospital…its the first real death of a grandparent I’ve had to deal with.
12. Became obsessed with Kentucky basketball as I started middle school and wouldn’t let anyone but my parents know for 2 years.
13. Spent the year with Krystal refusing to utter the word 13 and me thinking I was grown up.
14. Went to my first UK basketball game at Rupp Arena and pretty much decided I was going to UK.
15. My dad had a massive heart attack that almost claimed his life, I had never been that scared…ever.
16. Got my license after one failed driver’s test, my first car is an ‘89 toyota corolla.
17. Started on the staff at Livewire which changed my life in many ways and reaffirmed my journalism dreams.
18. Lost my Grandma to cancer, graduated high school, made a sucky new group of friends that I thought I liked, became infatuated with a boy who could never like me, and suffered from no car woes, college pressures, and lack of money.
19. Finally found peace in life with a better and smaller group of friends, a car, some moolah and a trip to the beach.
20. Just started it last month.

My 100 Things

2006-04-05T12:09:00.000-04:00

1. I’m the oldest child
2. I was born in Louisville
3. My dad is disabled
4. My mom went back to school when I was in 9th grade
5. I love journalism
6. My favorite TV show as a kid was Full House
7. I had a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas
8. I got my first CD player in the 5th grade
9. My first CD was Shania Twain
10. I still own that CD
11. I’m the middle grandchild on my mom’s side
12. My cousins are all way older than me or way younger
13. I’ve only been in 7 states
14. I want to go to Greece someday
15. I have no desire to travel to Australia
16. I’d really like to adopt someday internationally
17. I’ve wanted to go to UK since the 7th grade
18. I never knew my dad’s father
19. He was from New York City
20. I used to be obsessed with the Spice Girls
21. My favorite was Scary Spice
22. I never got in trouble in school, not even my name on the board
23. I pop my toes all the time
24. My knees can pop on demand
25. I hate to have the palm of my hand touched
26. My favorite color is pink
27. I love fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy
28. Vinegar is amazing, I put it on a lot of stuff or drink it plain
29. Lemons are my favorite fruit
30. In case you can’t tell, I love sour things
31. Ham sandwiches must have sour cream and onion chips on them
32. I used to be obsessed with Princess Diana
33. I’ve been to 21 funerals
34. I loved my first car even though it was old
35. I love my new car even more
36. If my Dad won the lottery he’d buy me a BMW
37. There are three streets in Bell County named after my mom’s side of the family
38. I once owned chickens, in a subdivision
39. I’ve never gone camping, nor do I want to
40. We always had a pool when I was growing up
41. I used to love the Backstreet Boys
42. I also loved Puff Daddy
43. I failed my first driver’s test
44. My mom calls me Lucy or Victoria a lot
45. Krystal gave me the nickname Apsies
46. My favorite season is summer
47. My first real job was at Mt. Washington Middle School
48. One of my first memories is of sitting in a funeral home with my Grandpa
49. I have an extra bone in each of my feet
50. I had really bad pneumonia once when I was little
60. I used to really want to be a doctor
61. I’ve had to get my ears pierced and re-pierced 3 different times
62. I loved to play with Barbies
63. I had all of the 90210 dolls
64. When I was in 3rd grade I decided I was too old for dolls
65. I never played with them again
66. I love to swing
67. My first babysitting job other than my brother was Dylan and Summer
68. My favorite flowers are carnations
69. I’m a Pisces, by Mamaw loves that about me
70. I’ve only worn flip flops for a few years now, before that I hated them
71. I owned several pairs of Jelly sandals
72. I’ve read more than 100 Babysitter’s Club books
73. My favorite book is Walk Two Moons
74. I was and still am a really good reader
75. I started wearing glasses in 5th grade
76. I’ve never tried contacts
77. I daydream…a lot
78. My favorite movie used to be The Wizard of Oz
79. I hate scary movies and rarely watch them
80. I don’t really like action films either
81. I used to hate Brad Pitt
82. I stopped watching ER when George Clooney left
83. I did really well in high school Spanish but can’t tell you a word of it now
84. I was 19 the first time I saw the ocean
85. My favorite teacher in elementary school was Mrs. Schroering
86. My favorite teacher in middle was Mr. Stodghill and Mrs. Shive
87. Mr. Steinmetz was my favorite in high school
88. I used to post at a Kentucky basketball fans online forum when I was in middle school
89. My name there was kcats34
90. I don’t plan on changing my last name if I get married
91. I’d like to live in the Highlands some day
92. My favorite place to eat is Qdoba
93. I love hanging out in bookstores
94. I collect newspapers of important stories
95. My parents have all the newspapers from the day I was born
96. My dad lost my first birth certificate
97. If I ever have two little girls I’m naming them Kennedy and Presley
98. I love to walk while listening to music
99. I love my feet but I think they’re ugly
100. I was in 3rd grade the first time I ever saw a movie in a theatre, it was The Lion King

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2005-12-26T00:57:00.000-05:00

The Christmas List:
The Big Item
-iPod Mini, pink
CDS
-Garth Brooks Box Set
-Madonna "Confessions on a Dance Floor"
-Jimmy Buffett "Songs you Know by Heart"
-Tim McGraw "Set This Circus Down"
DVDS
-"Now and Then"
-"Two Weeks Notice"
-"Cinderella"
BOOKS
-"Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West"
-"A Million Little Pieces"
-a book by Ann M. Martin, because I loved her stuff when I was little
CLOTHES/SHOES
-4 sweaters: pink, white, green and purple
-A vest: pink
-the shoes I've wanted, sweater like clogs that are black with pink specks
-gloves
-Pajamas with Snowmen on them
CAR STUFF
-a lighted key chain
-a light for my hood incase the car is ever broke down at night
GAMES
-Scene It: TV Edition, Sequel Pack and Classic Movies
RANDOM
-Razors, hair ties, a big 80th anniversary Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal, a hotwheel car

No Such Thing

2005-12-23T00:06:00.000-05:00

I read the book Prep today. I read this 406 page novel in one day. Really if you add it up, the times I had to put it down and all, I'd say I read it in about 3 hours. Yeah, I don't really know if that is fast, or slow, or ridiculious. Okay, my money is on the las one there. But, anyhow, the point it I read this book. And now I feel weird. I guess it was good. No...I know it was good, because it's made me think. I haven't read a book in a long time that has made me think like this. It's about boarding school. These college prep schools, in the northeast. Homes to the WASP members of our society. I don't want to give too much away, I highly suggest you read it though. If you even read this. Doesn't matter though...now I feel weird.

It makes me regret the time I spent at Bullitt East. Gosh, I can't believe I said that, but I guess it's sort of how I feel. I suppose everything happens for a reason and my time at BE was okay, but you see in Middle school there were serious talks of sending me to Catholic school. Not that we are Catholic, but b/c they are better. Part of me wishes I had pushed for that. Or that I myself had gone to a boarding school. I know that circumstances never would have allowed for that, but it doesn't mean the idea isn't appealing. I do sort of feel like I missed out on something I guess. If you read this book I'm talking about, you're totally going to look at this post and think "what the hell". It's not that her experience at Ault was a good one. But, it was an experience. Sometimes I feel like I've experienced nothing. There are a lot of things I've never done. I could list all of them here, but they'd only make me feel embarrassed and inadequate. I guess my lack of experiences can be attributed to a number of things. First is other obligations kept me from actively pursuing them...family and such. Second is my insecurities. I have them, I know we all do. Times when we felt like we didn't fit in with anyone else. I always felt like an observer. I know I still am. I'm still the most observant person I know....to the point of faking how observant I am. I purposely pretend to forget names, dates or random facts so I don't seem like a freak. I guess that all goes back to my insecurities about actually being one.

Most of the time in high school I felt like I was watching everyone else live. I know this is true. I've not walked away from high school with more than a small handful of people who are still willing to speak to me. And now it's affecting college. I people watch all day long. I observe the soriety girls with their shirts and bags with their greek letters on them. Perfect hair, clothes and looks. The frat guys in their khakis and polo shirts...that cocky little grin permanently plastered to their faces. The whiteness of UK's campus. The close proximity to home. I love it at UK...I just sometimes wish it wasn't so close. That maybe I could get away for awhile. And this could have everything to do with the fact that I'm home for Christmas break and the family has my stomach in knots. Are they the reason I've spent my life observing? Not fully participating with the world around me. I can't place the blame on them. It's unfair. It has to be my own doing. But do I really was to participate more and observe less? No, I don't think so, I might lose some of that journalist soul that I feel it so deeply embedded within my heart. I just wish I didn't have the damn feelings I get about life so much. Here lately they've been tearing me up. I think it's just my desire to get out, get away, go somewhere. I truly feel like I need the world to make me happy.

My mom was discussing their new doctor in her office tonight. He is from California, right outside of San Francisco. Close to the vineyards, skiing, the city. I imagine perfection. But he has uprooted his wife and three kids to move to Louisville and make a killing at this orthopaedic practice. And I thought to myself, "why would you ever leave a place as beautiful as where he is from"? But, I guess it isn't just me who always feels the need to get away. As the new year rolls around I have many things I'd like 2006 to bless me with. I need to travel. I need to see cities...bigger than Louisville, to feel sand...see the ocean again...to ride on an airplane...see Kenny and the Dixie Chicks in concert. I need to feel more alive and more fulfilled than I do now.......

S.O.B.

2005-12-05T09:36:00.000-05:00

What a flipping crazy weekend. Crazy people, crazy circumstances, crazy bonding. Whoa, I need to destress a little bit. I'm lazy, right? We know this. It's nothing new. I've been this way for a long time. Now, when I say I'm lazy, I don't mean I'm not active. I'm plenty active. I go for a walk every day, sometimes I take 2 or 3 walks. Usually about a mile long. I don't like to sleep in real late or take naps, but I'm lazy. And I'll explain why. I don't do housework. It's just not my thing. I especially hate doing it when I'm told to do it. And honestly, the parents, they give me all the crap work. Literally, like cleaning the Chelsea's cage and Emily's litter box. Or dumping leftovers at the end of the lot in the backyard to feed the animals, mostly stray dogs and cats might I add. Or dishes, God I depise dishes. They suck. In fact, I didn't have to do those. That's because years ago I hated them so much that I didn't clean them well and haven't had to do many since then. That was me, getting smart. I had to vacuum too. I swear to you, I'm the only person who has used our new vacuum cleaner, and we've had it almost a year now. My parents think that me doing chores is funny, they get a good laugh out of it. Dad loves to see me suffer. And so I cleaned, all weekend long. MISERABILITY. Yeah, that's all I got...

Mr. and Mrs. Suzuki

2005-11-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

So the Smith's come out on DVD today. I'm really excited about watching it, but I'm waiting until this weekend to watch it with the family. I found out I'll just have to buy another copy of it in 6 months or so, because they are releasing a director's cut. It's supposed to feature the love scenes they cut out and some of the extended action stuff. I hate that crap, why not release it now?? Anyways though.
Barbara Walter's Ten Most Fascinating People is on tonight at 10. Woohoo. I can't wait to find out who the most fascinating is. Eeek, we all know who my top choice is though--now don't we? I got my long paper for journalism back today and I got a 91/100 on it. I was totally expecting a C on that thing and I managed one point from an A. That rocks man.
Jenny's death has me thinking about death a lot today. I mean, I'm probably more fine with the subject than most people. But, I just keep thinking of what a dead body looks like. Is that weird? I always thought I knew, cause I'd seen them plenty of times in caskets. But, then my grandma died and I saw what it looks like without makeup. And then I thought about how I can't possibly imagine Jenny's tanned face that stark white. I dunno, I know that's probably extremely morbid, but it's not like anybody reads this junk anyway. I've also been thinking about whether you can see your own funeral after you are gone. I would like to think so, but then again, I don't think I could stand to watch people I love all upset. Then I've been thinking about how I'd want my own to go. For one thing, they better get all the info in the obituary correct, and I'd like an addition to it that prompts people to donate to a charity in my memory. Now as for the charity, I can't conclude which one I'd like it to be, but I'll get back to you on that. I also know that people would be inclined to run out and buy blue and white flowers for me because once upon a time I was vocal about my little UK obsession. But, I'd hate that. I'd much prefer for everything to be pink. Yeah, pink...and purple, greens are pretty. Red would be off limits though, blech, I hate red. I'd want to be buried somewhere pretty, with a view, and a nice cemetery. Not one in the Mount. My grandparents place is beautiful. And I'd better have a headstone, no crappy flat marker for me....

I'll Just Sit Right Here and Have Another Beer in Mexico

2005-11-11T10:02:00.000-05:00

Well I got that interview done yesterday. Her quotes weren't that great. Today I have the district manager of Kohl's calling me so I can interview him. Hopefully he wraps this thing up! Then I'll write it tonight at home in Taylorsville. I guess that's why they bought me a laptop, so I could come home and do this kind of crap. Ugh, life it so FULL right now. I need some calmness. I realized I'm still an individual this morning. That rocks. I love my self-reliance. Years from now, this will be a virtue. That or I'll be the crazy lady who lives alone with 12 cats. Whatever the case may be, I'm happy and that's all that matters. I'm off to grab some Starbucks. Nobody does a white chocolate mocha like they do....

Living Life in the Fast Foward

2005-11-10T15:00:00.000-05:00

Gosh I haven't posted in forever. I guess it's because of Candace's problems with the site. I'll have to talk to her later about that. Anyways. I'm getting a little nervous right now. I have an interview in about 30 minutes. It's over the phone, but still. The butterflies are fluttering. My article will run in Monday's paper. I really need to take that paper and the last one to Mr. Steinmetz sometime. I think he'd enjoy seeing me in print!
So my Brad Pitt obsession has been boiling for days now. I found a page at pittcenter.com that has every television appearance of Brad's since like 97. OMG. I've almost watched everything there. It's been a while since I've been this fascinated with a celebrity. I never understood what people saw in Brad Pitt, but you know what? I totally get it now. He's just got it. He's flipping amazing. Gosh...haha.
My life is going to be crazy up until Thanksgiving. One reason why: journalism. Yeah, 204 is working my butt off. But, I suppose it's a good thing! I registered for next semester's classes. Here is the run down.

Math 109:Intro to College Algebra

Philosophy 120: Intro to Logic

English 233: Literature and Identities

Political Science 101: Repeat cause of that former C

Philosophy 350: Death, Dying and the Quality of Life

Things could change. I'm trying to pick out a minor. Right now the frontrunners are Poli Sci and Sociology. I might add a sociology class to my schedule. Hmm...pondering. I'm off to interview. Whew..wish me luck!

First the Clooney's Now This?

2005-10-24T12:49:00.000-04:00

OH MY GOD..READ THIS..NOTICE THE HIGHLIGHTED AREA!! I'M FREAKING OUT! WHO IS COMING WITH ME TO THIS RED CARPET ENTRANCE THING??

Saturday, October 22, 2005
Muhammad Ali center will be a knockout Builders scurry to finish public display areas for November opening; other behind-scenes areas must wait their turnBy Sheldon S. ShaferThe Courier-Journal
Although scaffolding is still up and most of the reflective exterior tiles aren't installed, the Muhammad Ali Center will be ready for a private celebrity gala Nov. 19 and a public preview the next day, center officials said Friday.
The center's exhibits and public space will be open for good on Nov. 21.
But administrative offices, support space, a surrounding plaza and a pedway connection across Sixth Street to Riverfront Plaza won't be done until next spring, they said.
The scaffolding and the bare frame of the building without the exterior tiles make it seem as if the six-story center at Sixth and River Road has a long way to go before completion.
But "we're moving right along," center President Michael Fox said at a news conference.
About two-thirds of the center's exhibits, which will be concentrated on the fourth and fifth floors, have been installed, Fox said in an interview.
They include six pavilions, each reflecting an Ali trait - respect, confidence, conviction, dedication, giving and spirituality.
Each of the six stations is designed to tell viewers something about Ali and also themselves.
Displays include Ali boxing gear and memorabilia, and the exhibits make extensive use of multimedia, including film clips of fights and interviews.
Fox said the exterior tiles, which will show images of Ali, have been delivered. The tiles on the building's north face are up, and all should be in place by early November.
Fox said the scaffolding is scheduled to come down by Nov. 8.
The first peek at the center's interior will be a media tour on Nov. 18.
The following evening, there will be a "grand opening gala" sponsored by Yum! Brands, including a red-carpeted entrance into the Kentucky Center.
A tribute to the former heavyweight boxing champion and humanitarian will be at 8:30 p.m. at the center's Whitney Hall.Stars due to attend include Angelina Jolie, Jim Carrey, Jamie Foxx, Will Smith, Gladys Knight, Wynonna Judd, Kris Kristofferson and numerous athletes, Fox said.President Bush and all living former presidents were invited, but only Bill Clinton is expected to appear.
At 1 p.m. Nov. 20 there will be a "community celebration" for the public on Riverfront Plaza, dedicating the center.It will be open to the public for two hours, and at least a few hundred people will be allowed inside for a look. But they will have to pay the regular admission, which is $9 for adults.
The center will begin its regular hours Nov. 21. They are 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Saturday and noon to 5 p.m. Sunday.
sshafer@courier-journal.com

2005-10-23T23:09:00.000-04:00

my iPod

I Ain't Sayin' She's a Gold Digger

2005-10-23T22:25:00.000-04:00

So sorry about the random picture of me below, I downloaded the free picture sharing that this site offers so I had to test it out. Moving on...

Today we did some Christmas shopping!! The parents put the iPod mini on layaway, it's pink!! I'm so excited about it. Like now, anything else I get is icing on the cake, just knowing that I'm getting the iPod. I can't wait to walk on campus with my mini! We got like a million versions of Scene It. Game night anyone? haha.

I quit Target. Yeah, crazy I know. But, Candace you know the story and I don't want to go into it again so if for any chance you read this and aren't Candace and are dying to know the story, just ask me through AIM or e-mail. So I'm worried about finances. They'll be fine after the first of the year, but until then I need to be money conscience. Mom said that her and Dad will pay my insurance in December so I really don't have that much to worry about, but hey: I stress about finances.

So, that said. What do ya'll want from Macy's for Christmas? That's the only charge card I possess.

2005-10-23T22:23:00.000-04:00

Me at Cumberland Falls

Good Night and Good Luck

2005-10-20T23:14:00.000-04:00

Well here we go again. I've come here to blogspot to do a little blogging. I hope you like it, feel free to leave me some comments: we'll call it a blog-warming present. The biggest news of today is this: I'm attending a special screening of the new George Clooney flick, "Good Night and Good Luck" in about two weeks! The journalism students are getting in! I'm so pumped about this. Nick and Nina Clooney (George's parents) are going to be there and Nick is having a little Q and A session after the screening! Seeing his parents is probably the closest I'm ever going to get to George Clooney so I really can't wait.
In other news: when the heck is it going to finally get cold around here? I'm getting a little fed up with the 80 degree weather. And probably cause I just spent all that money on that North Face fleece I was dying to have. Ugh. I've also been thinking about my 2006 travel plans. I'd really like to go to the beach again, which I'm sure will happen with the parents. I would also like to go to a major out of state city. Chicago, Washington D.C., NYC, L.A. Umm yeah, one of those. I looked up how to get tickets to the Oprah show. You have to call and make a reservation, but it doesn't seem that hard to do. So, with that said, I'm only going to Chicago if Oprah is involved.
I had a meeting with my advisor today. And let me tell you, I'm just so pumped about math next semester. Haha..yeah right! Oh well...onward and upward.